


a kaleidoscope of colours (i am my own rainbow)

by willowcat33



Series: ♪ my name is tea, I am a poet ♪ [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Colour Symbolism, Emotions, Gen, Greek gods mentioned, Poetry, Rainbows, tws marked accordingly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-10-26 03:22:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20735426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/willowcat33/pseuds/willowcat33
Summary: what if one could break themselves down into aspects? call themselves a rainbow of personalities that merge into one kaleidoscope of a human?(or, a poetry book, about the self, specifically myself)





	1. red - anger, defense, war & love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is basically me breaking down my personality into colours and their associated traits, and making almost characters out of them! :D

red is no cherry-blossom child

no _ lovesick _heir of aphrodite

bitch, this is sparta

where aphrodite is a war goddess

and she takes after her mom.

she’s a red-lipped bad bitch

do no harm but take no shit

stand her ground, dont budge an inch

doesnt have to pull herself up to her full height

she _ always _stands tall.

red has a glare to cut through stone

melt-through-ice kinda bitch

red like the blood of those who cross her

aint afraid to shove back

call out a bastard when she sees one.

head held high, wearing her crown

forged in all the colours of her pride flags

the crown is technically purple’s

but that doesnt make red any less of a queen.

okay, i said this is sparta

i meant middle school

both are renowned for their bloody histories

insults and abuse ring in the halls like gunshots

but red is bulletproof titanium

and their words ricochet.

you can't burn a witch who's already on fire

blazing hot and bright

daring those flammable idiots to cross her

turning those who do into a pile of regretful ashes.

red defends me

defends my friends

as harshly as angelica defended eliza

she doesn't go down for the count

but if she did the whole world would burn in the aftermath of her blaze.

red is the confidence that let me come out

gave me the courage to fight back against bullies

lit the fire in my belly and refused to let it burn out

burnt the glucose in my veins and for a moment

all of me was on fire

and it was beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe, first of 7 plus one bonus! please leave comments! :D!!  
<3<3<3


	2. orange - wonderlust, dexterity, fall & quiet confidence.

orange is the kid who spends her lunchtimes making

clever fingers weaving leaves and sticks and flowers into jewellery

more priceless than solid gold.

she wears her crown of woven love

and her autumn dress with her tee beneath

and she doesn't care when people stare

she sits amongst the wildflowers

and they are friend enough for her.

she is red and yellow combined

pleasant passivity with confidence

she doesn't care

not one jot about what they think

she just keeps collecting flowers

(wild like her messy hair and her messier heart)

for her detroit boy and her adventuring girl

pressed in the pages of her heart

and in this chapter, autumn is a season of love.

leaves crunch underfoot

summer ferns turn to bracken

and the leaves become a myriad of shades of her

a homage to her beauty in every tree

on every pavement.

orange is my self-control

and the one who turns our cheeks with a gentle touch

she soothes the sting of insults with balms made of plants

sings songs of harvest time and happiness.

orange is a colour that's home for every one of my senses

even though im a little april baby

the quiet warmth, even when the wind is bitter, of autumn

is a comfort and gives me hope for the winter months, when everything is dark.

(plus halloween is pretty sick, and autumn rocks a pair of bat wings).


	3. yellow - happiness, peace, prosperity & wholesomeness.

if orange is the one who picks the wildflowers

and green the one who tends them

then yellow scatters them

constellations of pollen peppered across her hands.

she is the girl who fell in love with summertime

thick swathes of sunshine

providing us with serotonin

the sun's rays infused with joy.

she leaves a trail of daisies in her step

smiles at everyone who passes her by

wishes the teachers a good day as she leaves class

takes homework with no complaint and a smile on her face.

she's my sorry reflex and over-established manners

the anxiety that comes with social interactions

held in her toothy smile

and the way she holds herself

is full of fleeting happiness

(oh, when it goes, it always returns, no-one can stand to see yellow hurting).

yellow is everyone's little sister

sometimes overwhelming

but we adore her really

she's the kid who finds pretty flowers and runs to give them to you

the inner child of mine

to be protected with my life.

and sometimes i say im annoyed with her

but i don't mean it

not really

she's my baby girl, little sister, inner child

how could i hate her?

she's the girl i once was.


	4. green - nature, serenity, hidden pain & infection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tws: slight gore mention, repression of feelings and ignoring of feelings that shOULDNT BE IGNORED-

green is the person who grows flowers

tends hobgoblin

so that all the colours treat him like the son he is

our baby spider plant.

she's the colour of the summer trees

and when i see them switch their leaves into a temple for her name

i cannot help but crack a smile

it makes me giddy to know she is getting the recognition

she so desperately deserves.

she is all motherly elegance and wisdom

strolling through the garden of my mind

checking in on other colours

and of course, all of the plants, my memories, gently tended and cared for.

(of course, she can't get around them all, so my memory isn't perfect, but it's something.)

she's also the colour my mental health would be if it was a physical wound

festering and weeping,

flesh discolored and sore

and yet i insist that it's fine

that i can leave it and it  _ will  _ heal on its own

(some of purple's bullheaded stubbornness shines through in the bruises and my eyes).

and everyone says to get that checked out

but instead I shall just sit here

and rot in my shyness and stubbornness

whilst green tends to the garden once more.


	5. blue - curiosity, excitement, quick-wittedness & knowledge.

blue is like a cat, most days

dashing from place to place

collecting knowledge and trinkets

experience and skills

all for the joy of it.

really, she's more of a kitten

tangling herself in skeins of yarn

because they're soft and she was curious as to what would happen

and she's stuck now, but  _ dammit  _ if it wasn't fun.

and this curiosity is gonna be what gets us killed one day

we'll get too close to the fire and we'll burn

but if we rise from the ashes

(and you  _ know  _ we will)

we'll do it all again

because the moment before everything sets itself alight

the fire is like a new sky

firefly-like sparks like stars in our eyes.

blue is the kid who likes to read

finds interesting trivia and facts

and shares with her friends

"look!" she'll say "look what i know, isn't it awesome?!"

and they'll nod and beam and she knows she has worth

in that moment at least.

blue is the kid i wish i was all the time

yet, even on my worst days, 

she shines through the abyss

like a breath of fresh air and summer sky

and i know she will always be in my heart.

so i protect this kitten of my soul

and i keep her warm with the heat of the blaze in my head

because after all, the fire is still beautiful

and so are we.


	6. indigo - intelligence, bookishness, quiet & logical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tws: self deprecation, grade related bad self worth

indigo is quiet beauty

she doesn't think she is

she only sees the worth in her knowledge

_ think fast, work hard, achieve _

plays like a loop in her, our, head.

she's the voice that whispers the answer before i even begin to work it out

works on blue's quick wit and purple's confidence

to clutch at the answer, slam it on the table

before I can even lift my pen off of it.

indigo is the kid who beats herself up over a B

or an A that was only just

who can't quite be proud of herself

unless she's the best of the best

at everything.

she knows this is an impossible goal

but if purple eats impossible for  _ breakfast _

then why cant she?

so she holds us to impossible standards

and tears us down when we get close but not enough.

she’s what makes me push the boundaries of unthinkable

and also the top of my nose

as if pushing up glasses (that i’ve never had)

before saying a pun

or something intelligent.

indigo has been the basis of my self-worth for too long

these days, she’s overridden by anxiety and

my self-worth falls more to pink than anyone else

but shes still there

giving me answers like a bouquet of roses

trying her best to get us to the top

and through the school year.


	7. purple - regality, touch-aversion, fantastical & self-sufficient.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tws: touch aversion, touch related trauma, mention of deadnames

ah, purple, self-pronounced queen of the rainbow

some people will argue her name is violet

but that's her deadname

gender is a scam, and she has riches enough as it is as a queen

she’s proud now, of her name and her colours, wears them like badges of honour

(she’s always been prideful, but now she feels justified).

she walks with her head held high, crown balanced securely on top of her hair

bad-bitch energy

soft like cookie dough inside though

she just wants to be loved.

theatre kid, too shy to sing

but she loves to act

hopping about the stage like a bird

reciting lines with grace and eloquence

untouchable beauty, almost one of the nine muses.

she's lonely

and yet

if you touch her before asking she  _ will  _ scream

too much of pink's trauma rusts her crown

and even though it gleams

you mustn't touch her without checking for permission

seriously, she has one hell of a scream.

she doesn't need friends

doesn't need disappointments

she tells herself this every day

whilst she eats her impossibles for breakfast

but yet her heart breaks impossibly more

like a music box with a broken song

over and over and over

the heartbreak returns.

she is what carries me through performances

and what steels my gaze and my stomach

and turns it at the first unannounced touch

but she tries her hardest to keep us happy

purple, like lavenders and wildflowers

purple, like bruises

purple feels like home.


	8. (bonus) pink - love, springtime, childhood innocence, & friendship.

pink!

always excluded from the rainbow

but she is one of my favourite colours

me and her fell out a while ago

when the spots where her trauma bloomed from

bled into dark red

and i was afraid of my own femininity

because it had only gotten me hurt.

she is the childhood spark,

lighting up my soul

singing with the birds and skipping it down the street.

she is childhood innocence,

peaceful and happy

intent on learning and love and nought much else.

she is first love

first love that hurt you?

no, first _ requited _love

she gives me the gooey feeling i get when i talk to my detroit boy (and adventuring girl, though i don't know if she requites my feelings)

sets free the butterflies, releases them into my stomach.

she is friendship for the damned and the blessed

unjudging and sympathetic

caring and kind

always a shoulder to cry on.

that is, until that fateful february day

when pink bloomed to red

and the shoulder to cry on

_ snapped _ along with my heartstrings

(and my sanity).

we're healing, i guess

it's just hard to heal when the pain is everywhere

but there is light in the darkness

childhood spark, pink, a peace offering of forget-me-nots as she smiles, tears in her eyes

we haven't fought since.

pink is a _ beautiful _ colour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that concludes this! please leave a comment and a kudos if you liked it! i'd love to know which was your favourite, pretty please!  
<3<3<3


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